you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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