i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
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