You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
