There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
