if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
