grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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