Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
