I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
