Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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