I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
