just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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