But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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