what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
