Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
