found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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