his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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