walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
