do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
