I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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