Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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