if i can run in heels then i can drive
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
