My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
What a dumb baby whore.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
