if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
