dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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