found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
