actually, I'm a sock model
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
