I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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