Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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