Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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