better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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