Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
