think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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