So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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