I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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