you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
