epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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