so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
