I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
