I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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