Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
