hell yes lets make some ravioli
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
