Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
