Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
