hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
