Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Come see our sink grown plant.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
