I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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