your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
