You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
