The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
