just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
