The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
